railroadtracks

Cotton isn't sexy against the skin. Not the way Mara tumbled it on in the mornings, rough and stiff from the line. Mara couldn't have told you what the gym smelled like. But ten years later when she walked in with her eyes closed, she knew she was home. But no one ever asked Mara what the gym smelled like in the early     mornings When the fog and her dreams seemed to melt off reluctantly leaving her pale gray eyes open. No one ever asked Mara what side of the family her anger or her     brown hair came from. No one ever asked Mara why she struggled up each morning with     the need to hit something. But even if they had she

how do you reconcile with who you are when everything you are is everything everone ever told you you shouldn't be?  it's the lonliest thing in the world - like being the last speaker in the world of a dead language.  it's not being able to tell your best friend about your crush.  it's going home and having your mom ask, smiling if there is anyone special in your life or if there's anyone you have your eye on and you have to say no, not really, or you make up a name because you know she wouldn't understand.  it's listening to your own grandmother and your grandfather, a man you have looked to as a moral pillar for your whole entire life, decl